


tell me that you love me, that you never changed

by kistachies (hqkaiden)



Series: we look exactly like when we first met [1]
Category: UP10TION
Genre: Character Study?, Gen, also!, lapslock bc i'm too lazy to go thru and capitalize everything, only in the 2nd chapter tho!, plus it just looks better like this imo, thru the years au, tw: needles, yeah lets call this a character study
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-14 16:41:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9193856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hqkaiden/pseuds/kistachies
Summary: sungjoon and yein, through the years.





	1. scene 1;

**Author's Note:**

> hey there!!!! its been a few months how is everyone
> 
> so im actually writing this as a part of a short story for my creative writing class, and i'm nowhere near done with it, but i've just been itching to post something, so here's a sneak peak of the actual thing
> 
> this is actually a prequel to my OTHER weiyoul, 'we fight much more these days'
> 
> the entire thing is going to follow them as they grow up, but sadly this is all i've gotten done so far rip (the finished thing is definitely going to get near 5k words tho)
> 
> and just to specify, throughout this, they won't be together? like not romantically so im not tagging it as romantic bc yknow those feelings havent developed yet and blah blah im rambling now srry
> 
> enjoy!!!! if u have any thoughts or suggestions pls leave them in the comments!! they're what motivates me to write more!! :-) (also happy new years n happy late holidays!)
> 
> my twitter: @jisungsluv

people change as they grow and get older; yein and sungjoon are no exception.  
  
they lose their childish ways but still retain the tint of immaturity. mistakes are made; some are fixed, and some leave everlasting effects. but if either yein or sungjoon notice, they don’t acknowledge it.  
  
it’s just a part of growing up.  
  
but before yein and sungjoon grow up, they’re 5, only in preschool, with a purity that’s barely been touched by the thought of white lies.  
  
it’s the first day of preschool, and yein comes into the classroom with his parents, hopping up and down. his light blue backpack bounces with his hops, and he softly tugs on his mother’s hand. when she looks down at him, he points to where some of the other kids are, asking to go play with them. his mom nods, and takes his backpack before he runs off to interact with the other children.  
  
not even five minutes later, in walks sungjoon, sticking close to his parents. he grips onto his mother’s arm, and when she goes to talk to the teacher, he releases her and goes to cling onto his father’s pant leg. his father just pats sungjoon’s head and walks them over to where his mother and one of the teachers are talking, accompanied by exaggerated nods and hand motions.  
  
they’re talking about him, if the many mentions of him are anything to go by, his mother tells the teacher about his slight clinginess to his parents, and how he’ll sometimes refuse to eat. she also mentions his aversion to interacting with kids his age, and anything else that could be a concern. the teacher just nods and copies it all down in a small notepad, and gets the number to sungjoon’s old daycare in case any problems arise.  
  
sungjoon stares up at the teacher, a young woman barely in her mid-twenties. when she sees sungjoon looking at her, she smiles at him--to which, he turns and hides his face in his father’s side. the teacher comes closer, crouching down to be eye-level with sungjoon. she gives him a smile, but still doesn’t get a reaction, asides from him looking down at his shoes.  
  
“hi there! i’m ms. suzy. what’s your name?” her voice is gentle and kind, as expected from a teacher. sungjoon shies away, trying to hide behind his father even more.  
  
his father pats his head and moves away from sungjoon, muttering, “come on, sungjoon. don’t be shy.”  
  
sungjoon just lets out a whine and moves closer to his parents, this time tightening his grip. his mother crouches down, grabbing his hands.  
  
“joon, sweetheart, you remember what we talked about last night, right?” sungjoon nods. his parents had both came and sat on his bed right before his bedtime, telling him about how big and important today was. “we need you to be nice and play with the other kids today, alright? and listen to your teacher.”  
  
sungjoon nods slowly, looking down at his velcro shoes. his mother says a quiet ‘thank you’ and picks him up, hugging him and placing a kiss on his forehead. his father gives him a hug and another pat on the head, telling him, “go get ‘em, tiger.”  
  
his parents walk towards the door and sungjoon whines and tries to run after them, but his teacher grabs his hand before he can.  
  
“hey, sungjoon, you’ve got to stay here, buddy! they’ll be back after the day’s over. in the meantime, how about you go and play with the other children? i’ll take your backpack.” ms. suzy takes his backpack off him and puts it in his cubby. she comes back and puts a nametag on his shirt, then goes to help the other parents and children.  
  
sungjoon glances over to where the other kids are, playing with one another and the various toys. one kid makes a particularly loud shout and he flinches, eyes going down to his shoes for the umpteenth time.  
  
sungjoon stands there for a few moments before one of the kids come running up to him. the kid is a bit shorter than him, but sungjoon’s always been on the tall side, so it’s okay.  
  
“hi! i’m yein. what’s your name?” yein’s voice is a bit louder than what sungjoon would’ve liked, and he’s standing very close. sungjoon points to his own nametag instead of replying.  
  
yein giggles. “silly! i don’t know how to read yet.” yein pauses and gasps, staring up at sungjoon with wide eyes, full of amazement. “do _you_ know how to read?”  
  
sungjoon shakes his head, dark brown hair flopping on top of his head.  
  
yein’s face falls for a second, before he regains his grin. “you still haven’t told me your name!”  
  
sungjoon gulps. “sungjoon. lee sungjoon.” right after he speaks the teachers call them all over, telling them to sit on one of the numbered squares on the big rug.  
  
yein rushes over, plopping down on the number ‘13’. “sungjoon, come sit by me!” he’s patting the number ‘14’ square beside him, bouncing up and down. sungjoon quietly shuffles over and softly sits himself down, trying not to flinch when yein lets out a yelp of joy.  
  
sungjoon doesn’t interact much for the time that they’re sitting there, instead trying his best to focus on the teachers and block out the loud noises. the teachers don’t notice, too busy dealing with the loud and boisterous children. it isn’t until they’re eating lunch that one of the teachers comes up to him.  
  
this time, it’s the male teacher, mr. jae. he gets on his knees, so that he’s the same height as sungjoon. “hey, pal. why aren’t you eating anything?” lunch started around 10 minutes ago, but sungjoon has yet to even pick up his fork.  
  
  
sungjoon shakes his head, glaring at the plate in front of him. “don’t wanna.”

jae laughs. “i don’t think glaring at it will make it go away. do you not like the food?” on his plate is a ham and cheese sandwich, chips, and apple slices--all things sungjoon usually eats.  
  
he shakes his head. “no.”  
  
jae frowns. “really? why not?”  
  
“just don’t.”  
  
“can you at least try to eat a bit of something? how about a few bites of your sandwich? or some apple slices?” he gives sungjoon a hopeful look. sungjoon stares back, and for a moment, it seems as if he’ll agree, but in the end he shakes his head, muttering a ‘no.’  
  
jae is quiet for a moment before speaking once more. “do you want something else to eat, then? we can go look in the snacks cabinet.” he stands up off the floor and holds a hand out for sungjoon.  he gives the extended hand a dubious look, but still takes it and gets out of his chair.  
  
jae takes him over to a small cabinet full of chips, crackers, and various other little snacks. “see anything you like?”  
  
sungjoon stares at the cabinet, craning his head to look at the snacks on the very top shelves. after a few moments, he points to a small, individual bag of animal crackers. “those.”  
  
jae reaches up and gets them down. then crouches to be eye level with sungjoon. “here you go! you’ll eat all of them for me, right?”  
  
by now, sungjoon has deemed mr. jae to be okay. he huffs, rolling his eyes. “i guess.”  
jae pats his head and walks away, going to help some of the other kids clean up. slowly, one by one, the rest of the children go to reclaim their spots on the rug. yein runs up to him once again, pulling on his sleeve.

  
“sungjoon, hurry and finish! we gotta go get our spots!” sungjoon still hasn’t warmed up to yein yet; it takes a few more tugs on his arm, and yein telling him to hurry, for sungjoon to throw away his half-eaten meal of animal crackers.  
  
yein and sungjoon take their spots, not the first to sit down but not  the last, either. mr. jae smiles at them from his place at the podium, and comes to sit in front of them.  
  
“hey guys! are you two getting along okay?” even though he’s asking the both of them, the question is mainly aimed towards sungjoon (not that he notices, anyway).  
  
yein replies in an eager voice, bouncing up and down in his spot. “yeah! we’re gonna be the bestest friends. and sungjoon’s gonna sit by me everyday and we’re gonna be hallway buddies, and, and--” he stops there, as if he needs to catch his breath, and nods rapidly.  
  
jae smiles at yein’s unmasked enthusiasm, and turns to sungjoon. “really? is that so?”  
  
sungjoon just nods, not really knowing any other way to respond.  
  
but from that day forward, sungjoon’s never found it in him to disagree.


	2. scene 2;

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> growth brings change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been really hesitant to post this chapter bc ?? it just never seemed to flow right, no matter how many times i read over and edited it rip. 
> 
> but. alas. here it is! i hope this turned out okay, esp. since it's the chapter i've spent the most time writing lol
> 
> if u see any grammatical/spelling errors or errors in general, pls don't hesitate to tell me!! it's 2 am as i type this author's note so there's bound to be some mistakes whoop ! ( also yeah i know i wrote sungjoon's name a TON, but it was the only way to keep it from getting confusing as to who was speaking/doing something :( ) 
> 
> anyway. pls enjoy!! comments + kudos are v much appreciated :-) ily all 
> 
> twitter: @jisungsluv

yein and sungjoon keep true on that word, though. 

 

they keep true on it all the way through kindergarten, when yein refused to sleep during nap time unless he was right next to sungjoon. or in first grade, when yein  _ had _ to stand on the back row with sungjoon for their christmas play, despite being too short to be seen. and in second grade, yein always came running to sungjoon to pair up for reading time. plus, in third grade, yein would stay over at sungjoon’s house everyday, after school, to work on their multiplication tables. 

 

and so it makes sense that now, in fourth grade, yein is right there beside sungjoon. except this time, they’re not at school--or anything related to it, for that matter. 

 

no, they’re at a psychiatrist’s office. 

 

sungjoon still hasn’t learned to pronounce the word, and probably won’t for a long time. all he knows is that it scares him and he really doesn’t want to go to it. but his parents are forcing him to, and if it makes them happy, then he’ll sit and suffer through it for just a bit. 

 

although, it’s not just his parents’ idea. his teachers at school had recommended they take him to one, and had even given them contact information for a few psychiatrists in the area. 

 

his homeroom teacher, mrs. amber, had talked to his mom one day after school. she brought up how it’s not okay for someone his age to be so reserved in class, or so far behind with his social skills; how his small bursts of aggression that have developed over the past few months aren’t normal; and, his recurring headaches are becoming a constant distraction for him and the other kids.

 

(sungjoon, however, doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with himself. he’s always been like this; when did it start to become a problem? although, the headaches hurt at times, and no one really talks to him after he gets mad; but he’s still got yein.)

 

but after hearing his teacher’s concerns, combined with her own piled-up concerns, his mother had scheduled an appointment for just two days after.

 

and, while he’s doing this solely through force, he had demanded that yein come with him. his mother, exasperated and already on edge due to the fact that there might be something wrong with her only son, had relented.

 

so here they are, yein, sungjoon, and his mom, sitting in a small office full of filing cabinets and bookcases of notebooks, textbooks, and folders. they’re waiting for the psychiatrist to come in, so sungjoon and yein occupy themselves with staring at the abstract paintings along the walls. there’s this one that sungjoon likes in particular; it’s mostly white, with a few splashes of tan and blue in it. he points it out to yein, who also points to one he favors. this one is purple, with shapes that look like lavender flowers growing into the sky. 

 

they talk about other various things in the room, and eventually find their way into a heated rock-paper-scissors match. right as yein puts out a rock and beats sungjoon’s scissors with a yell, the psychiatrist walks in. they quickly scramble to sit properly in their seats, quieting down. 

 

the psychiatrist smiles at them, waving with a hand holding a manila folder. “hello! sorry for the wait, i just wanted to make sure i had all my papers and information. i’m bad about forgetting some things.” 

 

closing the door, he walks over to his desk and takes a seat in his large desk chair and starts up his computer. he turns to the three and speaks once again. 

 

“so! hello, i’m dr. andy lee, but a lot of my patients just call me dr. a, if you’d like to do so as well.” he opens the folder, and glances at the papers in it. “and… we’re supposed to be seeing mr. lee sungjoon, right?” 

 

sungjoon’s mother smiles and nods. she puts her hand on sungjoon, as if to make sure dr. andy knows which one is him. he reaches a hand across the table, which sungjoon takes hesitantly. 

 

“and i see you’ve brought a friend with you! and you are?” dr. andy turns to yein, offering him a smile and his hand as well. yein, ever the better with anything that deals with people, chirps out his name and happily shakes the hand. 

 

dr. andy doesn’t waste a second in getting started. he and sungjoon’s mom immediately begin talking about what’s been a concern for the past few weeks, months, and even years. yein pays half a mind to the conversation, eyes darting between the two adults as they speak. sungjoon, however, zones out, instead staring at the painting that had his attention earlier.

 

now that he’s looking at it a bit more, it sort of looks like lungs, right when someone’s taking in a deep breath. he recalls what they’ve been learning in science class for the past few weeks--the human body and it’s systems. so far, sungjoon likes the respiratory system. it’s simple to understand--breath in to get oxygen, and breath out, to get rid of carbon dioxide. it’s a process that stays the same, doesn’t change in the slightest. maybe that’s why he likes it so much. 

 

everything else after that is a blur. sungjoon just remembers his mom leaving out of the room after a few minutes, and dr. andy asking yein some questions about sungjoon. 

 

dr. andy then shows sungjoon a few pictures and has him say what they look like, and after that, he does some basic kindergarten tests, such as matching colors and shapes--as well as making sungjoon count to 100 and do his ABC’s. next, he has sungjoon read basic books aloud, and while sungjoon doesn’t really see why any of this matters, he still does so without complaining.

 

he asks sungjoon questions, so many that it begins to overwhelm him, but he tries to answer them as best as he can. 

 

lastly, dr. andy leads sungjoon out of the office and into a room just down the hall. inside is an exam table, a few chairs, and a tray full of medical equipment. upon seeing the medical equipment, sungjoon tries to turn and go out, but yein is right there behind him. yein forces him back into the room, and sits himself on the exam table alongside sungjoon. after a few moments, one of dr. andy’s assistants comes in, presumably for whatever test they’re about to have him sungjoon do.  

 

“we’re going to have to do a blood test, so that we can check and make sure your blood chemical levels are all normal.” dr. andy says, as he and his assistant put on gloves and a face mask. the assistant sits in the doctor’s chair and brings himself and the tray closer. “we’ll do it from your elbow, okay?”

 

sungjoon nods, tense. all he can focus on is the needle on the tray. he’s never liked needles, and always cries and freaks out when he has to get a shot. the assistant rolls up sungjoon’s sleeve and wraps the elastic band around his upper left arm, but that’s when sungjoon starts to lose his composure. 

 

he whines, trying to pull his arm away. “do… do i have to?” 

 

dr. andy nods, facial expression sympathetic. “it’s important that we test your blood. are you afraid of needles?”

 

sungjoon nods, still cowering away from the needle. 

 

yein takes hold of sungjoon’s left hand, holding it tightly. “it’s okay! don’t focus on the needle, just look at me instead!” he chirps, and sungjoon listens. he turns his head completely away from the needle and looks at yein, who appears to be nothing but worried. 

 

the assistant wipes the inside of sungjoon’s arm with an alcohol pad, and locates a vein. barely seconds later, sungjoon feels the needle, and that’s when the tears come. 

 

he cries the entire time, even if it only lasts a few minutes and really doesn’t hurt that much. yein just hugs him as best as he’s able to, rubbing his back. sungjoon clings to yein’s shirt even after the needle has been removed and a bandage placed over where it was, pathetic sniffles filling the silence in between dr. andy’s words. 

 

five minutes later, they rejoin sungjoon’s mother in the lobby of the doctor's’ office, both of them with a sticker and lollipop in hand.

dr. andy, who stands behind them, shakes his mother’s hand one last time. “we’ll have the blood test results back by tomorrow, and will have an official diagnosis the day after. i’ll be sure to contact you then, and we can see where to go from there.”

 

he pats sungjoon and yein on the head, and waves as they walk out. 

 

sungjoon’s exhausted from the whole event, and still has a slight tremble from the blood test. but he soon forgets about it, via the promise of ice cream, a visit to the park, and a confirmation that yein can stay for a sleepover. 

 

(he doesn’t forget, though, what happens two days later. it’s late at night, way past sungjoon’s bedtime. and while he should be asleep, he can’t help but hide behind the corner, listening in on his parents’ conversation in the kitchen. 

 

“...don’t know what we’re going to do…” “...anxiety…” “...medication and therapy…” 

 

sungjoon only hears bits and pieces, but it’s enough to leave him with an uneasy weight in his gut. he’s got a feeling that he’s not as okay as he thought he was.) 


End file.
